


Our secrets

by Magal



Series: The Oil and Water Dreamland [1]
Category: K-pop, Shinhwa
Genre: Bittersweet, Character Study, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-11
Updated: 2014-12-02
Packaged: 2018-02-20 19:46:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2440679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magal/pseuds/Magal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eric Mun and Shin Hyesung have many secrets. Because it's not easy to tell the others. Because it's not easy to tell the other too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so first fic since a very, very long time. I used to write a lot in other fandoms, but that was years ago, and in my native language. So, I guess I'm a little bit rusty (well, that's an understatement), but I just had to get this out of my head.
> 
> This fic is unbeta'ed. I have to warn you, because my English grammar is atrocious.  
> If a good soul wants to beta it, I would be more than grateful.
> 
> Another thing. I'm new to Shinhwa's fandom, so this might be OOC.

_16th of February, 2016._

All the Shinhwa members were sitting around the table in Eric’s living room, loudly speaking over Korean hip hop music playing in the background. Despite their respective full agendas, they had finally managed to all gather for one night in order to celebrate Eric’s birthday. 

After eating for what had seemed like hours, they had given the leader his birthday presents and then started playing a card game. Drinking and smoking like chimneys around the small table, they were catching up, talking about everything and nothing, from serious to frivolous topics. Only Dongwan was lying on the sofa, sleepily watching them play. 

Eric gulped down another drink along with Minwoo, making the other members cheer, and grinned. He was officially drunk. Even Hyesung, who was watching him with a clearly disapproving look (no matter how glassy his own eyes were), seemed amused. Junjin poured more soju into their glasses. 

“I’m telling you, the guy was so drunk… as much as Dongwan here…”  
“I’m not drunk… I’m just resting a little…”

Dongwan kicked Junjin’s back, but Junjin simply ignored him. 

“… he kept trying to French kiss him,” Junjin added while laughing, remembering the inebriated young trainee he saw a few days ago in a bar trying to kiss his horrified manager in front of dozens of persons. 

Hyesung chuckled at Junjin’s story. At his right side, Eric smirked a little. Minwoo noticed. 

“Well, he’s not the only one trying to French kiss his friends when he’s drunk. I think we have an expert here,” Minwoo said, wriggling his eyebrows at the main singer in front of him. 

Hyesung scowled and threw several cards at Minwoo’s face, much to the hilarity of the other members. Even Eric smiled, the traitor. 

“Look ! He’s blushing!” Andy unnecessarily exclaimed.  
“I drank too much,” Hyesung replied defensively. 

He touched his burning cheeks, trying to cool them without success, and lowered his eyes. At his left, Junjin heavily leaned into him, claiming a kiss but Hyesung pushed him back, protesting loudly. The others erupted in laughter. Hyesung couldn’t help but smile a little. 

“You can kiss me if you prefer, I know I’m your favorite,” Dongwan proposed from the sofa.  
“You’re not his favorite, I am” Minwoo protested.  
“In your dreams, I am,” Andy said.  
“Guys, stop it,” Hyesung whined.  
“We’re kidding hyung, we know Eric is your favorite,” Junjin replied seriously to him. 

Hyesung and Junjin briefly made eye contact, and the little prince stiffened when Eric took the opportunity to kiss his cheek by surprise, cupping his face in one hand. Their friends cheered and clapped their hands. 

Eric sat back, lightly massaging Hyesung’s tense shoulder and gazing into the singer’s eyes. He smiled. 

“I am.”

Hyesung didn’t answer, not trusting his own traitorous, wavering voice. 

More drinks were poured and they resumed their game, but Hyesung’s mind was somewhere else. His eyes kept stealing glances in Eric’s direction, but the rapper was now focused on his cards. Hyesung held back a sigh and then watched carefully the other members around the table. Fortunately, they didn’t seem to think something was odd. 

How would they react if they knew… 

No, they could never know. 

~~~

One hour later, the music was turned off. They all had had too much to drink to drive back home and Eric had generously offered his bedroom and guestroom to his friends. Andy had dragged Dongwan in one of them, quickly falling asleep beside him, while Minwoo and Junjin were doing the dishes in the kitchen of their host. 

Hyesung had taken Dongwan’s place on the sofa, lying comfortably on his side. Eric sat before him on the ground, his head on the edge of the couch, within reach for Hyesung’s hand to play with his hair, his fingertips lightly scratching his scalp.

Eric’s eyes were closed, the rapper feeling obviously relaxed under his touch. Hyesung’s eyelids were closing too, his intoxicated mind numbed by all the drinks he had consumed. 

A few minutes later, Minwoo and Junjin came back in the living room, and Hyesung discreetly withdrew his hand as they approached. 

“It’s all clean. Let’s call it a night," Minwoo said. "Eric, you’re sure we can use your bedroom?” 

Opening his eyes, Eric made a vague gesture. 

“Of course, go ahead. Don’t worry about me, I’m going to sleep at my favorite neighbour’s home.” 

Hyesung tugged his ear, making Eric smile. 

“Thanks Eric, ‘night guys, ” Minwoo said, yawning.  
“‘night”, Hyesung and Eric answered together.  
“Good night hyungs, and behave yourselves!” Junjin added with a mischievous wink.

At these words, Hyesung lifted up his eyes, watching Junjin’s retreating back. Their friends quickly disappeared in the corridor, the sound of the closing door of Eric’s bedroom echoing in the silent apartment. 

Hyesung sighed. His hand went back on Eric’s head, caressing his hair for a moment before touching his jaw. His thumb slid over his cheek, stroking it tenderly for a couple of minutes until Eric captured his hand within his own. 

Hyesung’s pulse quickened as he watched Eric slowly kissing his way from the palm of his hand to the inside of his wrist. Finally, Eric brought his hand to his cheek and sighed, his face turned towards him, tired eyes lazily focused on his. 

They stared at each other for a few seconds, lost in their thoughts, and Eric stood up. Carefully pushing Hyesung against the back of the couch, he lied down next to him Then, grabbing his right knee to put it on his own legs and not crush it, he brought them even closer together.

They were still gazing at each other, Eric stroking absentmindedly Hyesung’s thigh. After a little while, Hyesung smiled.

“Happy birthday.” 

Eric smiled back and gave him an eskimo kiss, his eyes shining brightly in the subdued lighting. 

“You look amazing tonight.”  
“You don’t look so bad yourself,” Hyesung murmured timidly, averting his eyes, clearly embarrassed but smiling anyway. His fingers played with Eric’s collar. 

They had been together for more than five years now, even if it remained a secret that even the other Shinhwa members didn’t know. Sometimes, Hyesung wondered if they weren’t suspicious though, especially Junjin who regularly made some odd comments and allusions about them when Hyesung and Eric did things together or disappeared simultaneously for whole week-ends without telling anyone, travelling here and there like newlyweds. 

Nonetheless, if they had their suspicions, they'd never clearly confronted them about it. 

Hyesung’s thoughts wandered, recalling the beginning of their relationship. 

They had always been close since their debut. Close but also awkward with each other because of – what they admitted now in their most intimate conversations – their mutual attraction, inwardly mortified as they realized that people around them and fans too were suspicious about the real nature of their relationship and made fun of it, not thinking that this attraction was indeed real and not as innocent as they probably imagined. 

Despite their unconfessed proclivities, they both had had several relationships with girls, getting even close to marry a couple of times under their parents’ and tradition’s pressure. However, after years of beating around the bush, more than ten years of friendship, their relationship had gradually evolved.

Being neighbors all this time had certainly made things easier. They had always had common hobbies, shared life’s tears and laughs, the good and the bad things. They had hurt and forgiven each other so many times. And when they had needed each other, it had only been natural for them to get deeper and deeper in the intimacy of the other to find the shelter they needed. 

After many discussions, flirting and bickering, long afternoons at each other’s house, sitting side by side playing videos games, late nights, drinking together and sharing drunken kisses and skinship, the best friends and neighbors had finally, one day, with the help of beer, admitted that maybe, they wanted each other. 

That maybe, they were in love with each other. 

Hyesung could feel himself blush just by remembering their awkward conversation that night and the timid, then passionate kisses that had followed it. 

Nearly six years later, despite the arguments and difficulties of everyday’s life, they were still together, and Hyesung regretted nothing. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” Eric said. 

Hyesung stopped fiddling with Eric’s shirt. Feeling Eric’s intrigued eyes on him, he smiled. 

“Just thinking about us,” Hyesung admitted, slightly embarrassed. 

Eric’s dark gaze caressed his face for a moment, and then slowly, he tilted his head, his lips getting closer until they finally touched his, tenderly kissing him. 

Hyesung immediately responded to his kiss, letting his hands wander on Eric’s waist. 

The kiss deepened, intensifying as their embrace became more passionate. Their caresses were still slow and careful though as Eric changed their position, getting on top of Hyesung and interlacing their legs. Soon, they were moving together, undulating and arching into the other’s body as their hands lovingly touched their faces and bodies, occasionally sliding in the other’s hair. 

Lost in each other’s arms, kissing amorously, they didn’t hear it as a door opened, nor as light feet stopped dead at the end of the corridor, shocked dark eyes fixed on them.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Sorry for the late update. Long story short, my laptop died and I lost quite a lot of stuff.  
> Among them, the latest version of this story /sobs. I had to write parts of it again, then translate chapter two. Sorry for the delay. 
> 
> This story is still unbeta'ed, so I apologize for the grammar/spelling monstrosities you may find in it. ~~I definitely have a problem with verb tenses and placing adverbs.~~

Minwoo remained hidden in the dark corridor. Weirdly fascinated, he couldn't help but stare at his friends, still closely embraced and totally unaware of his presence. He swallowed, hoping they wouldn't notice him. That would definitely be an awkward situation.

He had just meant to have some water before going to bed, thirsty after drinking so much alcohol. Who would have thought he would find his friends... Doing what exactly? 

As he watched his friends kissing tenderly, anguished questions assaulted Minwoo's brain. Of course, he was curious about the evolution of their relationship. Since when were they a couple, if they were one ? Were feelings involved or was it just a sexual arrangement ? A sort of experiment? It was hard to guess between those two, but the way they kissed and touched seemed natural, practiced many times. Minwoo bit his lips. More than anything, he was worried about the effects this could have on Shinhwa, strictly professionally speaking. An oil and water couple couldn't last forever, could it ?

His thoughts were interrupted when Hyesung moaned slightly, obviously trying not to make any noise but failing. Eric was now kissing his throat as their bodies kept rubbing against each other, their hands desperately trying to find skin under their clothes, caressing the other man as if they couldn't get enough. It was a very intimate moment to witness, but Minwoo couldn't look away. Finally, he saw Hyesung reluctantly push Eric back. 

“Not here. If someone sees us...” Hyesung whispered, his voice loud in the silent room. 

Eric suppressed a frustrated groan but complied without arguing, kissing Hyesung's lips one last time before getting up. 

“Your flat then, now,” he said, sounding a little desperate. 

He took Hyesung's hand, insistenty pulling on it until Hyesung got up too. The singer chuckled but let Eric put his hands on his hips, pushing him until they reached the door. They whispered cutely a few words that Minwoo couldn't make out to each other, then left. 

Once the door was closed, Minwoo stepped out of the dark corridor, letting his breath out. 

“Hard to believe, huh?”

Minwoo started and turned around. Junjin was calmly looking at him, as if gauging his reaction. When Minwoo didn't answer, Junjin went into the kitchen. Minwoo followed him there and watched him as he poured water into two glasses. 

“You don't seem surprised,” Minwoo said. 

Junjin shrugged. 

“It's not like it's the first time.”  
“What? What do you mean? When?”  
“When I first saw them kiss?” Junjin asked. 

Hesitant, Minwoo nodded. Junjin looked up, staring absently at the ceiling as he tried recalling. 

“Two years ago, more or less?”

Minwoo's jaw nearly dropped. Two years? Junjin smiled at his dazed friend. He gave him a glass of water. 

“I have to admit, they're rather good at hiding their relationship. In general," he amended. "I suspect they have been together for way longer than that. Thinking about it, there were multiple signs.”

Unconsciously, Minwoo shook his head. 

“But, that doesn't make any sense. Eric keeps saying he wants to get married, and Hyesung goes to blind dates nearly every damn week...”  
“If he didn't, his mother would kill him,” Junjin humorlessly laughed. “She absolutely wants some grandchildrens. Imagine her reaction if she knew her precious child was having a love affair with another man, especially with her best friend's son, and that he has no intention to marry one day whatsoever.”

Minwoo could picture it. Hyesung certainly didn't want to disappoint his mother. To be fair, no parent in Korea could imagine two men, especially their son, living together. To get married, have kids, was practically a family obligation. 

Eric's mom was just the same, except that she had stopped setting up blind dates for her son ages ago. Maybe was she aware it was useless? 

Minwoo hesitated. 

"You really think their relationship is serious? Who knows, they might break up and marry a girl in the end."

Junjin thought about it for a moment. 

"Maybe," he conceded. "Only them can know for sure. I think they're serious though."

Minwoo sighed and rubbed his neck. He had always been a big supporter of the 'Ricsyung' couple fan club, was even considered as its president by their fans, but he had never thought they could be a couple for _real_. Well, he had been suspicious of their weird relationship on more than a few occasions though. All those shy and tender looks, all that awkwardness around each other...

“I don't even know why I'm so surprised.”  
“Believe me, I had the exact same reaction when I saw them the first time.”

Minwoo looked at Junjin, silently waiting for him to continue. Junjin gulped down some water then whispered conspirationally, as if someone could hear them. 

“They've always been close but I don't think they were anything more than just friends before Eric started his military service. They got a lot closer at this period, remember? And when Hyesung got his trial? You know Eric and I often went to Hyesung's place to cheer him up, right? But after hanging out, while I was going home, Eric always stayed and slept over at his place. In fact, whenever I called him at that period of time, he was always at his flat or in Hyesung's company. Also, isn't it strange that they've become neighbors by chance? Is it really pure chance if it happens twice in a row, in such a big city?”  
“So, you're saying it has been going on for more than what... three, four years?” Minwoo counted, disbelieving.  
“More like five to six years.” 

Minwoo swore. The kitchen was quiet for a while. Then Minwoo timidly asked a question, with obvious interest. 

“So... you said you saw them?”

Junjin chuckled. 

“During a dance training session. Eric was moody that day because he had a hard time learning the new choreography, and at some point he went into the change room to sulk.” 

Minwoo couldn't help but smile a little at that. 

“It was obvious he was discouraged, so when he went to the change room I tried to follow him and talk to him, but Hyesung insisted he could go and talk to him himself. He had closed the door behind him but I couldn't help but check on them, so I peeked inside to see if they were alright, or at least not trying to kill each other. I saw them sitting face to face, very close to each other. I couldn't hear what Hyesung was whispering to him but he was cradling his face in his hands," Junjin said, his hands mimicking the action. "And at some point, he just kissed him on the lips to comfort him, several times, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, until Eric kissed him back. They were so caught up in each other that they didn't notice me at all.”

Junjin made a pause. 

“I closed the door quietly and a few minutes later they casually came back, looking so normal. Hyesung and I showed Eric the dance moves until he could do them. While doing so, I kept watching them, thinking about what I just saw, how crazy it was, even wondering if I didn't just have visual hallucinations. But when Eric finally got it, they went to hug each other so tightly, smiling so sweetly to each other... and I just knew it was for real.” 

Minwoo sighed a little.

“They fooled all of us. All this time...”  
“I think Andy and Dongwan know too.”  
“Wait. What? Are you serious? You're telling me I was the only one who didn't know about it? Since when do they know?”

Minwoo looked scandalized. Junjin shrugged. 

“I don't know. I'm not even sure. It's not like we ever really discussed or even acknowledged it, except as a joke, but I think they do know.”

Minwoo rubbed his temples. He was starting to have a headache. 

“They think they're being discreet,” Junjin continued, his expression serious. “But they're not, really, not always. I tried to talk to Hyesung several times, to make him understand I had my suspicions about them, as they're always together, but he played dumb anyway. When I told him that spending all his vacations with his best friend in remote places or abroad would be suspicious to the fans, he just laughed it off awkwardly and we never spoke about it again. They must think the less we know about them the better.” 

Minwoo sighed. 

“I can understand that. I mean, it's their private life afterall, and they managed to stay under the radar for many years it seems, but what if their secret was in the open? What if someone else already knew? We should be ready for that. We should at least talk about it with them.”

But how? Of course they would deny it. Junjin hesitated. 

“I might have an idea. But I don't know how they will react.” 

He made a pause, then smiled.

“You know, I'm glad I can finally talk about it with someone. It was driving me crazy to keep this secret to myself, and to squee alone too!” He said excitedly. “They're really cute together, aren't they?”

Minwoo nodded, grinning. They were really cute indeed. 

As they returned to Eric's bedroom, Junjin started to explain his plan to confront them, and as he was listening to him, sliding into Eric's bed, Minwoo nearly blushed, trying not to think about what his two friends were likely doing as they were speaking, in Hyesung's bed. 

 

~~~

_At Hyesung's flat, during that time._

Once the door was closed, Eric took Hyesung in his arms. However, he had barely kissed his lips that Hyesung pushed him away. He seemed quite nervous. 

“Wait.” 

Eric seemed a little disconcerted, and Hyesung briefly took his hand. 

“I'll be back in a minute. Wait for me here.”

Eric watched Hyesung as he went into his bedroom, feeling a little anxious at his lover's strange behavior. Trying to dismiss it, he went to the cd player, going through the huge, methodically classified album collection the singer had. He finally picked one and played it, a sweet melody soon envading the air and Eric sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. 

One hand lightly tapped his arm and Eric turned around. Hyesung was holding a small box, wrapped in a cute, white ribbon. Eric blinked. 

“For me?”

Hyesung nodded. Eric took the box. 

“But you already gave me a present?”

The singer had indeed managed to find a rare vinyl record Eric had been looking for, and had offered it to him earlier with the other members' presents at the end of the dinner. 

Hyesung looked embarrassed. He avoided his eyes. 

“I know. But it made me think of you when I saw it and... ah, it's stupid, if you don't want it, I can bring it back to the shop.”

He stopped babbling when Eric opened the little box. The rapper stared at the necklace inside and its elegant pendant. He didn't say anything for a few seconds and Hyesung became agitated. 

“As I said, if you don't like it...”  
“Can you help me put it on?” Eric said, interrupting him. 

Hyesung raised his head, their eyes meeting for a moment, then shyly lowered his head. He delicately took the necklace from its box between his fingers. Hesitating, he unlocked it and taking a step forward, he embraced Eric's neck, diligently attaching the chain to it. After a few seconds of fumbling, it was locked again. Hyesung's heart was beating fast as he leaned back a little, still uncertain. 

“Done.”

Before he could say anything else or withdraw his arms, Eric was hugging him. 

Gradually relaxing, Hyesung hugged him back and released the breath he didn't realize he had been holding. Even after all those years, why was he so shy and nervous around the man sometimes?

“Thanks,” Eric finally murmured. 

He kissed his neck, then proceeded to make both of them sway, dancing along the slow music. After giving his neck a quick kiss too, Hyesung had put his chin on his shoulder and closed his eyes. They danced for a couple minutes, bodies entangled, until Eric leaned back, forcing Hyesung to do the same. They kept dancing slowing, staring at each other silently. Their noses brushed, and soon, their lips met again. 

They kissed tenderly but with growing possessiveness, their hands caressing softly the other's back, and when the music stopped and they opened their eyes again, Hyesung took Eric's hand, their fingers intertwining as they made their way towards the bedroom. 

When Hyesung opened the door, Eric's heart was suddenly stuck in his throat, his eyes glistening under the sweet and warm flames of a dozen candles, lightening sensuously the dark room. 

“Pilkyo...”

Eric opened his mouth to say something more, but Hyesung put a finger on it, softly shushing him. They looked at each other for long seconds, and Hyesung leaned to kiss him. 

Despite all the candles, the room was still rather dark but they didn't fumble as they undressed each other slowly, their caresses precise with practice, and soon they were lying on the bed, kissing every inch of skin their lips could reach. 

Moments later, they were entwined in each other's arms under the quilt, touching and kissing the other eagerly, barely daring to whisper a few words of love in the ear of the other as they made love. 

~~~

Hyesung frowned as he woke up slowly, the day's light peeking through his eyelids. He groaned at the intrusion and pulled at the quilt, hiding under it and sighing in relief as the darkness returned. 

He heard a chuckle behind him and the arm around his waist tightened its hold, bringing him flush against his lover's naked torso, their skins sliding softly against each other. He felt a kiss on the nape of his neck and he pushed back the quilt slightly, sighing again but of contentment this time. The kisses on his neck and shoulder multiplied until Eric's lips touched his ear. 

“Hi.”

Hyesung answered with a tired whine, stroking the arm on his belly. The party had been great and the night after that marvelous, so special and tender, but strenuous. 

They didn't move or say a thing until Hyesung sighed again, thinking about their guests. 

“We have to get up. The others will be waking up soon.”

The answer wasn't immediate. Eric didn't exactly seem in a hurry to leave his flat. For proof, the arms around his body tightened their grip. 

“They can manage. They're used to my bathroom and kitchen. It's not like it's the first time they're sleeping over.”  
“Yeah, but they might come here if we dally.”  
“They don't know the new code of your flat,” Eric reasoned. “They can't come in.”

Hyesung opened his mouth to reply but finally gave up. He turned around until he was lying on his back and he stared at the white ceiling, sighing again. Eric looked worried. 

“You're sighing a lot.”  
“It's just... What if they...”

He rubbed his eyes and blinked, thinking about Eric's extra toothbrush and razor in his bathroom. What if the other members realized they were in a relationship? What would happen if they knew their secret?

Eric watched him for a moment, sensing the young man's growing panic, and he rubbed his belly to reassure him. 

“Calm down. There's no reason for them to find out. And even if they found out about us, it wouldn't be the end of the world, would it?” 

He kissed his cheek and Hyesung nodded timidly, still doubting his words.

Even if he was happy in his relationship with the leader, he couldn't help but wonder what would happen if the others knew, if everybody knew. Deep inside, he thought the members would probably accept them, knowing for a fact that they were more broad-minded and tolerant towards homosexuality than most of the Korean population. However, it was for the best if they didn't know about their relationship, Eric and he agreed about it. 

The Korean society wasn't very tolerant towards gay people. Rumors of homosexuality in the entertainment industry, rumors concerning celebrities who were going out in the few gay-friendly places of Seoul were strongly harmful to their career. He didn't want to imagine what would happen if the public discovered their relationship, the number of doors that would be slammed in their faces, professionally speaking, especially considering the fact that they still had to fight nowadays to find and sign new contracts, for Shinhwa to survive in the business. 

They themselves had strongly fought against their own attraction and feelings, thinking about what society and their families expected of them. A wife, kids. And Hyesung loved kids. Unlike Eric, for whom having kids was important but still secondary, Hyesung desperately wanted some, and not just because his mom wanted grandchildren. 

Despite that, he didn't regret his choice to be with Eric. Even if the rapper sometimes uttered doubts concerning Hyesung's wish to remain with him, hinting at the fact that the singer might leave him one day to start a family of his own, Hyesung had realized a long time ago that he couldn't imagine a future without Eric by his side.

Moreover, as an official bachelor, he still had the possibility to adopt. Even if adoption wasn't exactly widespread in the Korean society, it was becoming more common, was even encouraged by the latest governments. Starting a family together... Recently, he was seriously considering it. He only had to summon up his courage and talk to Eric about it. 

He turned his head towards Eric. The man had fallen back asleep, his relaxed face facing him. Hyesung thoughtfully looked at him, caressing his face and jaw with the back of his fingers. He couldn't impose such an enormous change in their life upon the man, exposing them without a doubt to more attention and suspicion from the media, from their families and friends. Nevertheless, he really hoped that the rapper would support him and not abandon him. But what if he decided to break up with him? Hyesung's stomach was in knots just thinking about all the things that could go wrong. 

Sitting up, Hyesung put a hand on Eric's shoulder, leaning onto him to lightly kiss his lips once, then twice, even more tenderly. He knew he was certainly asking for too much, that it was selfish of him. 

“I'm so sorry Eric, but you have to understand me,” Hyesung murmured. 

Sighing nervously one last time, he kissed his lover's shoulder before getting up, disappearing in the bathroom to take a shower. 

As the water started to run, Eric immediately opened his eyes again, staring at the closed bathroom door.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, I'm so horrible. Sorry again guys for the late update. No excuses this time, real life just kept me really busy. 
> 
> I originally intended to add another scene at the end of this chapter, but I think it'll better fit the next (and last) chapter. So shorter chapter than expected. Sorry again ;_;

_One week later._

Eric was absentmindedly watching the television as he waited nervously for Hyesung.

Since several days, the singer was acting weird. Quieter than usual on the phone, he seemed preoccupied by something important, and despite his lover's attempts at having a discussion about it, he had simply denied that anything was wrong. Well, until now, it seems. 

_I have something important to tell you._

Eric tapped his feet, looking at the clock. It had been weeks since their last argument, but the rapper was deeply worried. He couldn't help but think about everything that had happened since his birthday party, over and over again.

First, Hyesung had seemed very anxious at the idea that their friends, the other Shinhwa members, might find out about their relationship, despite the fact that nothing out of the ordinary happened during that night. And then, there had been this confession. Eric swallowed, his stomach in knots. He couldn't forget the words Hyesung had whispered to him the following morning. 

_I'm so sorry Eric, but you have to understand me._

These words had been haunting him ever since. Why was Hyesung sorry? What exactly did Eric have to understand ? Was the singer thinking about breaking up with him?

As if confirming his fears, since that day, Hyesung had gone to not one, but two blind dates in a row. To be fair, it wasn't unusual, his mother setting up blind dates for him regularly, despite her son's loud and whiny protests, in the hope he might find her soon-to-be daughter-in-law. So usually, Eric wasn't too worried, although he had to admit he was a little jealous. 

Only this time, Hyesung hadn't even complained about the dates. It was rather the opposite actually. He had been strangely understanding. 

_My mother only wants me to settle down. You know how much she wants grandkids._

Hyesung had been evasive when Eric asked him about how the dates went, but he kept talking about the wish of his mother to finally have grand children, on and on. Weren't kids great? Not to mention cute!

Eric wrung his hands. Maybe this was it. Maybe Hyesung wanted out. Maybe he was tired of their relationship and wanted to marry and have the kids his mother desperately wanted. 

After all, despite all the years they had been together, they had never talked about them being a permanent arrangement. It had to end one day, didn't it? They could never officially 'settle down' like a married couple. Not here, not now. 

He consciously touched the necklace Hyesung had given him. His heart ached, beating faster as his panic grew. Thinking about it, this gift, Hyesung's loving words, the romantic setting and their passionate love-making that night... Maybe their last date had been in fact a farewell one. 

His throat tightened as he remembered Hyesung's dark eyes glistening in the candlelit bedroom, so warm and loving. How he had stared back at him with his lips slightly parted, gasping sweetly when Eric had taken him slowly, again and again. How he had let Eric hold him close after, caressing him softly as they drifted off to sleep.

Eric bit his lower lip to get a grip on himself, ineffectively.

Between the singer's promotion for his new album and Eric's last drama shooting, they hadn't seen each other at all this week, constantly on the road and eating with their respective staff. They didn't even spend one night together as their hectic schedules were totally desynchronised, their rare and precious sleep hours cadenced by the coming and going of their personal managers who came to pick them up every morning and drop them back late at night in front of their flat building. 

In fact, they had only communicated by messages and short calls, which had only caused further anguish to the rapper. 

Especially when Hyesung had asked Eric if he could go to his place this Friday night. 

_I have something important to tell you._

Eric rubbed his face. Hyesung's voice had been nervous, hesitant, and Eric was pretty sure his worst fear would come true today. Hyesung surely wanted to put an end to their relationship, and Eric feared he wouldn't be able to chase after him anymore. Hyesung would move on and Eric would lose him, forever. 

The doorbell rang and Eric started. In a few quick strides he was at the door, opening it curtly without even checking who might be behind it. 

“Why didn't you use the code?” Eric said as a greeting.

Taken aback, Hyesung stared at him wide-eyed. 

Despite himself, his voice betrayed his agitation, and Eric swore inwardly. He had to calm down if they were going to have this kind of conversation. 

Hyesung immediately pouted. He raised his hands, holding a bag in each one. 

“Well, my hands are full as you can see. Sorry you had to tear yourself from the couch.”

Hyesung had obviously bought their dinner at an expensive Japanese restaurant, the favorite food of the rapper. Feeling stupid as he remembered the singer telling him earlier on the phone he would take care of their dinner tonight, Eric eased off and stepped aside to let him in, sputtering an apology. He closed the door and watched his every move as Hyesung took the food out of the bags and proceeded to set the table.

Eric moved closer and hugged him tightly from the back. His lips brushed against his ear.

“Thanks for buying dinner,” Eric said, sheepishly. 

He kissed his cheek, feeling the singer's body relax in his arms. Hyesung smiled.

“Idiot. Help me set the table.”

Eric complied, and a few minutes later, they were sitting at the table, eating and telling each other about their week, the tv set forgotten as it announced the national news. 

Despite the delicious food, Eric couldn't enjoy their meal. They had nearly finished their dinner and Eric was more anxious than ever as they ran out of topics of conversation. Hyesung also seemed distracted. Finally, not able to take it anymore, the rapper put his chopsticks down on the table.

“You said you had something to tell me?”

Hyesung didn't immediately raise his head. He stalled, fiddling with the remaining rice in his bowl before letting go of the spoon, then forced himself to look at Eric and nodded, nervously brushing some invisible dust on his pants. The silence was oppressive as Eric waited for the singer to speak, his heart beating faster and faster at each passing second. 

“I want kids.”

His voice had been soft and assured, but his eyes seemed uncertain as he stared at Eric, waiting for his reaction. 

Eric froze. His last hope had just become undone. His moist hands gripped his knees. He stayed quiet for a moment. His throat went dry and his eyes stung, but he nodded despite himself.

“I see.”

Hyesung didn't say anything, obviously waiting for him to continue, and Eric nodded again.

“I understand. You want to be a father, and I'm sure you'll be an excellent one.” 

He stopped, his throat feeling too tight. He couldn't bear it anymore and suddenly got up, making the chair squeak, and Hyesung started, surprised. 

“So I guess it's over between us? It was bound to happen sooner or later, wasn't it? So, let's end this. Ok? Let's end this.”  
“Eric?”

The rapper had turned his back to him, close to leave the room, and Hyesung promptly got up, ready to catch him, when Eric turned again towards him, his voice getting angrier as his panic grew. 

“You know what, I knew this would happen. I knew you'd leave me one day or the other,” he told him accusingly.  
“What? You... What? Who's leaving who?” Hyesung asked, confused.  
“Don't play that game.”  
“You're not making any sense. Who's talking about...”  
“I'm not making sense? Really?”

Hyesung was quickly losing patience. 

“Eric...”  
“That's not what you wanted to tell me maybe, huh?”  
“Junghyuk, stop it.”  
“That you want to end this? Tell me! Do you think I'm that stupid?”  
“Yes, incredibly stupid actually,” Hyesung yelled angrily. “I want to start a family. With you! That's what I wanted to tell you!”

His words had the advantage of shutting Eric up. The room suddenly became drop-dead silent as they stared at each other, short of breath. Eric blinked. He seemed completely lost. His voice was weak when he spoke again.

“What?” 

Closing his eyes, Hyesung breathed out. He pinched his nose for a few seconds before raising his head. He sighed. 

“I guess I should have been clearer. I just want to adopt.” 

Once again he waited for Eric's reaction, his eyebrows slightly arched. The rapper looked totally bewildered, hopeful and incredulous at the same time. 

“Really? You're not... leaving me?”

Hyesung shook his head, feeling suddenly guilty in front of his lover's obvious distress. 

“You really thought I wanted to break up with you?”

Despite all his self-control, it was too much. Unusual tears appeared in Eric's eyes, and when he opened his mouth after a few attempts, grimacing as he tried to keep them at bay, only quiet sobs came out. 

Swearing out of frustration but also relief as he finally understood what had been bothering his lover, Hyesung took him in his arms, hugging him as the older man cried quietly on his shoulder. Eric's arms were clutching his waist as if he didn't want to let him go anymore, fearing he might change his mind and disappear from his life for good. 

Hyesung kissed his temple, his cheek, whispering soothing words to reassure him while stroking his hair and nape to comfort him. When Eric had calmed down a little, Hyesung leaned back. He wiped the last tears with his thumbs, caressing Eric's face as he searched his eyes. 

“What on earth made you think that?”

Still trying to get his self-control back, Eric shrugged. 

“I heard you last week, when you thought I was sleeping and you said you were sorry, that I had to forgive you. And then this week, you seemed distracted, you kept talking about your blind dates, about kids... So when you said you had something to tell me, I...”

He stopped, biting his lower lip hard to fight back new tears, and Hyesung swore again. He dropped his arms and turned his head, clearly exasperated now. He glared at the wall. 

“Aish, this guy really... How can you... I can't believe it. Fretting over nothing for a whole week and not even telling me about it?”

Still clutching at Hyesung's clothes, Eric lowered his head, feeling sheepish, but a timid smile appeared on his face. They didn't move or say anything for a moment. Then, sighing dramatically and muttering some “what am I going to do with you?” to himself, Hyesung finally looked at him and grabbed his hand, slowly dragging Eric into the living room. He released him as he sat down on the couch, tapping lightly on the cushion in front of him. 

“Sit.” 

Eric complied, letting himself be guided as Hyesung made him turn his back to him. He understood the intention of the singer when his fingers started to massage his back without mercy, easily finding the numerous muscle knots there. Eric complained loudly, grimacing. 

“Ouch! It hurts!”  
“Serves you right!” Hyesung commented, still a little irritated. “That's why you shouldn't stress over stupid things like this. As if you didn't have enough to think about with the shooting already. Stop moving!”

Eric couldn't help but smile, realizing now how worried about him the singer was. Hyesung fell silent and kept massaging him for a long moment. On the tv screen, a crime thriller had just begun, and both men started to follow distractedly the intrigue. 

Eric relaxed gradually, feeling his tight muscles loosen up, and he closed his eyes, letting himself go entirely under his touch. Hyesung's sharp fingers were now gentler on his back, looking for the smallest signs of tension, and when none of them were left, his hands slowed down, their careful touch light as caresses as they reached the rapper's waist. Hyesung leaned forwards, his lips brushing his nape. 

“I love you.” 

Eric opened his eyes at these barely murmured words and tried to turn his head to look at him but Hyesung's arms were now encircling his waist, the singer hugging him tenderly. His voice was a little sad.

“I know that I don't say it often, but I don't want you to doubt it.”

Eric took one of Hyesung's hands, interlacing their fingers and bringing them over his torso, just above his heart. He leaned his head back against Hyesung's. 

“I love you too.”

He felt more than he saw Hyesung's shy smile against his neck. After a few seconds of silence, the singer sighed. 

“You're so frustrating sometimes. How can you believe I'd leave you like that?”  
“I'm sorry, it's just...”

He didn't continue though, feeling suddenly stupid for assuming with so little proof that his boyfriend would leave him. He just felt so insecure sometimes. Hyesung kissed his nape.

“I've been thinking about adopting for a while. I realize that having kids would be life changing, for me but also for our relationship, so I wanted to discuss it with you. I know it's egoistical, but it's important to me.”

Eric shook his head. Bringing Hyesung's hand to his lips, he kissed his knuckles. 

“It's your right. I was sincere earlier, I know you'd make a great father.”  
“I don't think I can do it on my own though.” Hyesung admitted with a low voice. 

He leaned back, letting Eric turn towards him, and they stared at each other. Hyesung's eyes were pleading, and Eric smiled softly, taking his face between his hands.” 

“Now you're being the idiot. Of course you won't be alone.”

Hyesung's smile was so beautiful that Eric couldn't resist kissing it, exulting when he got an armful of his lover. Hyesung hugged him tightly, making him fall back on the sofa, both totally missing the judgemental look of Gomdori who was resting on the nearby armchair. Silly humans.

***

His head half leaning on Hyesung' shoulder, Eric was deeply concentrated on the tv screen. 

After their intense, exhausting conversation, they had shared a well-deserved shower, releasing all the stress and pent-up tension of the day with lazy kisses and caresses, to end up cuddled up on the couch in their pyjamas at 2am, fighting zombies under a fluffy blanket.

Hyesung seemed totally immersed in the game but Eric's mind kept wandering, thinking back to their earlier discussion. After a particular hard battle with a giant, ugly monster, he ventured a bit. 

“Pilkyo?”  
“Hm?”  
“Did you... ever have second thoughts? About us being together, I mean.”

Hyesung didn't answer immediately, but his hands stilled on the joystick. He hesitated. 

“Well, I had my doubts at the beginning. I mean, what if it hadn't work out?”  
“But it did work out though, didn't it?” Eric cooed, kissing his clothed shoulder. 

Hyesung blushed a little. 

“Yeah... But back then, neither of us had had any experience with another man before, and I admit I was worried. I had a lot of misconceptions about... what a relationship like that could be.”  
“Yeah? Like what?”  
“You know.”  
“What? Tell me,” Eric insisted, nudging him softly.  
“For one, I just... I wasn't sure we would be compatible.” 

Eric looked up at these words, but Hyesung's eyes were glued to the televion screen. 

“What do you mean?”  
“You know... Intimately.”

Hyesung looked embarrassed and Eric finally understood. He smirked a little. “Ah, sexually, you mean? Yeah, I remember how worried you were about losing your manliness. You definitely overcame your fear though,” he teased.

Hyesung's cheeks turned crimson and he feebly pushed Eric's head away, the rapped leaning again on his shoulder as Hyesung muttered denials. 

They resumed their game, but a few minutes later, Hyesung murmured again. 

“What I mean is, I'm happy, and not just... about our intimacy. So, you're not getting rid of me anytime soon.”

Eric smiled goofily and playfully bit Hyesung's shoulder. He felt exactly the same way. It was so much more than sex, as passionate and tender their love-making could be. Despite how society might view their relationship, Hyesung and he felt connected on so many levels it just felt... right. 

They remained silent for a moment, playing lazily, when still deep in thought, Eric blurted out again. “You know, I didn't tell you earlier, but I thought about adopting too.”

Beside him, Hyesung froze. In less than one second, he had paused the game, making Eric groan as the zombie on the screen seemed to mock him.

“Why did you stop it now? I was going to shoot that little shit.”  
“You what?”

As Hyesung's eyes tried to bore a hole into his skull, Eric sighed and let go of the joystick reluctantly.

“A few months ago, my mom talked to me about that possibility. Your mother isn't the only one worried about not having grandchildren yet, you know. So yeah, I gave it some thought.”  
“Why didn't you tell me? I was worried sick about your reaction, and you're saying you were thinking about adopting too all along?”

Hyesung looked scandalized, and Eric just knew he would soon be sulking if he didn't handle this well. He took his hand in his, trying not to smile at Hyesung's budding pout. 

“Don't be mad. Yeah, I thought about that possibility but I also didn't think it was the right time. That's why I didn't say anything. Now however... I don't know. Maybe we could both try to adopt. It would certainly make things easier as we're in this together anyway. What do you think?”

Hyesung just stared at him pensively, obviously surprised by this turn of events. He squeezed his hand. 

“Do you really mean it?”

Smiling, Eric nodded. Hyesung calmed down, sighing. 

“That'd be great. But you know what would be even greater? If we stopped keeping secrets from each other.”  
“Agreed,” Eric laughed. “Secrets are definitely tiring.”  
“We should tell the others too.”

Shocked, Eric stared at him, unblinking. Did Hyesung want to come out?

“About us?”

Hyesung rolled his eyes. He tugged Eric's ear, earning himself a pained little cry from the rapper. 

“No, dummy,” he said affectionately. “About us adopting. All the Shinhwa members should know about this.”

Rubbing his ear, Eric nodded after a few seconds. Hyesung was right. They deserved to know. 

“I guess that's fair enough. Deal.”

Hyesung smiled, leaning in to give him a peck on the lips.

“Deal. Junjin is coming tomorrow to hang out. What about starting with him?”  
“Ok. Wait. What? I didn't know he was coming. What's the occasion?” Eric asked suspiciously. 

Hyesung held back a sigh. Even though Junjin and Hyesung's brotherly relationship had always been purely platonic, and even though Junjin and Eric were really good friends, the rapper was still wary sometimes of their close friendship. Hyesung thought it was cute. He shrugged. 

“Nothing special. He just wanted to hang out. He did say he had to tell me something though. I think he might have a new girlfriend.”

As Eric pondered the new information, Hyesung sat back on the couch and resumed the game, killing the lone zombie his boyfriend had been eyeing. He noticed. Taking his joystick back, Eric pouted. 

“It was mine. That's cheating.” 

Hyesung giggled mischievously and interlacing their arms, he kissed the pouty cheek. 

***

One hour later, Eric was still killing evil creatures when he felt a dead weight drop on his shoulder, silky hair tickling his neck. On the screen, Hyesung's avatar was unmoving. 

Eric looked down, watching Hyesung's closed eyes. He stroked his cheek, tenderly.

“You asleep?” Eric whispered. 

A faint groan was his only answer. Eric smiled. It was unusual for Hyesung to fall asleep like that, in the middle of a game. But this long, stressful day had be challenging, he guessed. 

Ending the game, Eric turned off the television and the console. Then, he took the joysticks away and, carefully avoiding to jostle the sleeper, he slowly took him into his arms to carry him to his bedroom. 

Before lifting him up, he paused a moment to really look at him, marvelling at the fact that the gorgeous man was still his at the end of the day when he could have chosen to be somewhere else, in someone else's arms. Moreover, he was grateful to him for choosing to adopt kids who weren't biologically his over having his very own, only to remain with him. 

Compared to all those precious things and all the joys of their lovelife, the secrets they had to keep seemed like a very small price to pay. 

“Thank you,” Eric murmured, looking at the peaceful face. 

He lifted him up in his arms, half-awakening the singer.

“What are you doing?” Hyesung yawned.  
“Taking you up to bed,” Eric said, slowly walking towards the bedroom with the cute bundle in his arms. “You know, you're heavier than you look,” he teased.  
“I can walk,” Hyesung replied, his eyes still closed.  
“No, you can't.”

Smiling, Hyesung put his arms around his neck. 

“You're such an idiot.”  
“But you love me anyway,” Eric easily agreed as he opened the bedroom's door with one foot, his words making the singer grin a little more.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter! :D  
> Sorry for the long wait. Been busy and the writing of this chapter was never ending. x_x
> 
> Warning: the rating has been changed to 'explicit', I think you know what it means ;)
> 
> This story is ending but I'm thinking about writing a little prequel (I mean, you must be curious about how those two actually got together, aren't you? ;D), maybe. 
> 
> Anyway, happy reading! ^^

Eric woke up with a numb arm. Looking down, he only saw slightly ruffled hair and a small nose peeking out of the blankets. 

Hyesung had curled up around him during the night, an arm loosely holding his waist while the other was clutching at Eric's, his soft and warm body half spread over the man, head resting on his chest. 

Carefully wriggling his arm out of Hyesung's grip, Eric wrapped it more comfortably around his lover, bringing him even closer. He stroked his shoulder with slow caresses while his other hand grabbed the wrist on his belly, under the sheets, and he stared at the closed eyelids. 

It was somehow weird to see how much of a cuddler Hyesung could be at night whereas he spent most of the day avoiding his touch. Well, at least in public. 

He knew it was out of fear of drawing attention to them that the man generally avoided public displays of affection with him, even the smallest ones. Even now, the singer was nervous when they interacted in their professional environment, always wondering if they weren't too obvious. 

They weren't, Eric thought. But it was a good thing Hyesung was careful, because if he wasn't always slightly on edge, paying attention to their surroundings, Eric would certainly forget himself and they would get caught. Eric pouted. It wasn't easy sometimes to keep hiding their relationship. 

At least, hugs with the others members could temporarily help him compensate for the lack of cuddles, but... 

His slightly calloused fingers slid on Hyesung's arm, light as feathers. 

It was frustrating too. Not being able to touch him casually, without thinking about what people might think. What the consequences might be. 

In their private circle of friends, Hyesung had always been flirty with him though, especially when drunk. But even during those times, when they exchanged an innocent kiss or touched in a flirty way, people around them always laughed and wrinkled their noses in disgust. It was OK to goof around when drunk, but only if it was a joke. It wasn't accepted to be in love with your male best friend. 

He couldn't care less though, even if he knew they had to keep up appearances for their own sake. 

Lost in his thoughts, Eric's eyes lingered on Hyesung's face, memorizing it. Yes, it was so frustrating and hard sometimes, to not be able to say that he missed his lover, to not show he craved for his touch, especially when he was just next to him – looking so cute and sexy – but out of reach, not allowed to cuddle him or just hold his hand.

“Stop staring at me when I'm sleeping, that's creepy.”

Snapping out of his reverie, Eric blinked. Hyesung had finally opened his eyes, his sleep disturbed by the light caresses on his arms. Eric smiled as Hyesung looked at him. 

“I can't help it," he said, caressing his hair gently. "You're too beautiful.”  
“And cheesy,” Hyesung added, blushing a little.  
“I can be cheesier,” Eric promised.  
“Don't.”

Eric laughed. He made a pause to lean in and kiss his embarrassed boyfriend. Hyesung kissed him back softly, holding his waist, and when their lips parted, he hid his head in the crook of his neck. 

Eric took the opportunity to cuddle him a little tighter, rejoicing as Hyesung practically melted against him, snuggling closer, their feet tickling each other. After a few silent seconds, the singer breathed in and out deeply, obviously enjoying the familiar and reassuring odor of his lover's skin. 

“I missed you too,” Eric teased, still playing with his hair.

Hyesung's mouth and nose tickled his neck. 

“Who said I missed you?” He puffed with a sweet voice, a little embarrassed. 

Not fooled, Eric chuckled. 

“Oh I see. So, you didn't miss this?” One of his hands sneaked under Hyesung's shirt, caressing his back slowly. His lips brushed the singer's ear. “Or that,” he murmured, before nibbling at the skin under it.

Distracted, Hyesung moaned. 

“Eric...”  
“Yeah?”  
“Shut up.”

Eric only grinned, and Hyesung decided to shut him up for good with a kiss. 

Tightly embraced, their bodies started rubbing against each lazily, theirs lips brushing and licking skin between slow but hungry open-mouthed kisses. After a couple of minutes of caresses all over each other's waist and back, Hyesung leaned back to remove his shirt, squeaking – manly – when his lover took then the opportunity to push him back gently against the mattress and straddle him. 

Hyesung forgot to protest when Eric removed his own tee-shirt, his eyes roaming over the rapper's gorgeous face and body. His hand followed his eyes, caressing his face and torso in one smooth, sensual motion, while the other slowly grabbed his neck to invite him to come closer. 

Eric hovered over him, proceeding to nuzzle his neck and chest for a while, slowly kissing his way down Hyesung' soft body and smoothing his goose bumps with warm hands as he sensed the fingers of the singer gently scratch his scalp in anticipation. 

“I love your body so much,” Eric stated softly against his skin. 

Hyesung only whimpered in answer, arching in his touch. After taking off his lover's pyjama pants with agile hands, Eric kissed and caressed his lower abdomen and thighs for a while, taking his time and enjoying the soft moans of pleasure Hyesung was making. 

Hyesung gasped for breath when his mouth was finally on him, his hand sliding even more in Eric's hair, brushing his ear while the other was holding onto the sheets. Eyes closed and his body arched under the teasing foreplay, he didn't notice Eric's appreciative glances to his face. 

When Eric released him, Hyesung was panting. Eric kissed his belly and chest, slowly crawling his way back up, between his legs. He kissed his chin.

“Good?” 

Hyesung opened his eyes and nodded a little bit shyly, still stroking Eric's hair. His arms embraced his back and their lips met again. 

“Want you,” Eric groaned. “Want you so much.”  
“Then have me,” Hyesung whispered against his mouth. 

His words inflamed their embrace, driving Eric crazy as his fingers fumbled, removing his own underwear and reaching for the drawer. Still kissing him, he groped around and took a small tube inside, removing the cap with difficulty as Hyesung worked him up diligently. 

Getting impatient when Eric failed to uncap it, the singer stole the object from him and after coating his fingers with a generous amount of its content, his hand sneaked between their bodies to caress Eric, stroking him deliciously. Eric leaned back slightly, breaking their kiss. 

“Slower, slower” Eric gasped. “Or it'll be over soon.”

It was Hyesung's turn to smirk. 

“Missed me that much?”

It had only been one week after all. They had known worse.

Eric's teeth playfully grazed the smug smile of his lover, before shutting him up with another kiss. As the fingers slowed on his skin, Eric started to suck gently on Hyesung's neck. 

A couple of minutes later, he couldn't feel Hyesung's hand anymore, sensing more than seeing Hyesung pour another amount of lubricant on his fingers to spread it between his own thighs, his other hand on the small of Eric's back. Then, his hand was on him again, guiding him as he pushed in slowly. 

Grabbing one of Hyesung's legs under his knee and stroking his hip, Eric groaned a little and nibbled at his jaw. He pushed further, thrusting ever so slightly to ease the way. Hearing light gasps from his lover, he opened his eyes, watching Hyesung's half-closed, focused eyes as he tried to breathe slowly and relax. 

Soon, he was moaning and pliant under him, his legs around his hips and body arched against his, biting and kissing his neck and shoulder. Grabbing his waist, Eric thrusted harder, getting lost in the endless sensations, every caress on his skin and tiny reaction of his responsive lover igniting his senses. 

He paused a few times to prolong the moment, kissing Hyesung passionately to distract his own body, but the sensations were too much and in a matter of minutes, he came, still deep inside him. 

His face in the crook of Hyesung's neck, he jerked silently a few times, easing off slowly as gentle hands caressed his sweaty back, soothing him. He knew his arms and his weight were probably crushing his lover's smaller frame but he just couldn't let go of him, even a tiny little bit.

Fingers slid into his hair, and lips murmured to his ear, softly. 

“I missed you too.”

When he finally caught his breath, Eric kissed the naked shoulder and slipping out of his body gently, he turned his head. Hyesung was staring at him with dark eyes, and Eric smiled, nuzzling his nose. 

“Really?”  
“Yeah.”

Eric kissed him sweetly, and noticing that his lover hadn't found release yet, he took the small tube again and sneaked a coated hand between them to caress him slowly. He kissed and licked the salty skin of his throat, avoiding his mouth to not muffle the sweet little moans his lover was making, sometimes nibbling at his collarbones, when Hyesung finally climaxed with a small cry, jerking against him. 

Eric looked at him, but his eyes were closed. When Eric continued slow carresses on his still hard shaft, Hyesung hissed, his hand catching his wrist. 

“Too sensitive?” Eric enquired. 

Hyesung nodded. Eric waited a little then brushed slightly the deflating member with the tip of his fingers, watching his lover as he shivered violently several times, whimpering in pleasure. When it was finally over, Hyesung curled up against his chest, panting heavily and murmuring a muffled 'oh my god' against his skin.

Eric chuckled, caressing his side. _So hot and cute._

“That good?” 

Hyesung leaned back slightly, their noses mere centimetres apart as they shared the same pillow. Looking at him, he tried to frown but failed, still panting. 

“Don't be so smug about it.”

Eric's smile was even cheekier at these words, and Hyesung pinched his cheek, ignoring the fake cry of pain of his lover. 

His fingers were soon soothing the abused skin though, caressing his stubbled face and jaw with their tips. Their eyes were soft as they gazed at each other for a few peaceful minutes. Eric was the first to break the silence. 

“I wish we could be together like this every day.”

Between both their hectic, crazy schedules, even as close neighbours, being able to wake up next to each other every morning was a nearly impossible thing.

Hyesung's hand slowed down as the singer seemed to have the same thought. Because of their jobs, they couldn't meet each other much on weekdays. Both loved their carrier and worked their asses off to preserve it. They couldn't do otherwise anyway, or they knew Shinhwa and their personal projects would just fade into oblivion, forgotten by the entertainment industry. How would it be with one or two kids? Hyesung hesitated. 

“If we adopt, we'll certainly have to slow down on our activities.”

Eric smiled a little at that. He leaned over Hyesung, his arm reaching for the box of tissues on the nightstand. He took a couple of them. 

“You already worry too much. We'll manage just fine.”

He kissed Hyesung's temple and leaned back, proceeding to clean the mess they had made, wiping gently their bellies and between their thighs. Watching him as he did so, Hyesung sighed. 

“I'm more worried about the reaction of the others to be honest.”

Eric threw the soiled tissues in the nearby dustbin. 

“You're sure you want to tell them now? What about your parents? Shouldn't they know about it first?”  
“I've already talked to my parents. After my second blind date this week, I knew I had to discuss it with you so I told them.”

Eric looked at him, sensing that Hyesung felt uneasy.

“What did they say?”

Hyesung shrugged. 

“They seemed a little bit surprised but not too much. They didn't object.”

Leaning back on the pillow, Eric was staring now. Hyesung did seem preoccupied. He didn't need to ask to know what the singer was thinking. 

Maybe they expected it. Maybe they knew. 

“That's a good thing, isn't it?” He inquired anyway, softly. 

Hyesung shrugged again. 

“I don't know.” He made a pause. “Sometimes I wish I could tell them.”

Eric sighed and took Hyesung into his arms. After a couple of minutes, Hyesung smiled a little.

“My mother seemed happy though, somehow.”

Eric smiled too. He pecked his lips and changed the subject. 

“When did you say Junjin would come?”  
“Around lunch time. He said he wanted to try out a new restaurant.”

Eric looked at the alarm clock on the nightstand. It was barely 9am, so they had plenty of time to cuddle. Smiling, he did just that, throwing the blanket over them and snuggling closer until he was comfy against the singer's chest, literally wrapped around him.

Hyesung grumbled as Eric's disheveled short hair tickled his chin, and raked his fingers through it gently in a vain attempt to smooth it. He kissed his forehead. Soon, Eric's breath was even, and Hyesung's gentle caresses on his scalp slowed down, both men falling asleep again.

***

A strident sound awoke them harshly one hour later. It was the doorbell. Eric started, haggardly lifting his head to check the clock. It was barely past 10am. He rubbed his face. 

Hyesung sat up, immediately alert. His eyes were wide open. 

“Who is it?” He whispered, as if the person behind the front door could hear them.  
“I don't know.”

The doorbell rang again and they both started. 

“Could it be your manager?” Hyesung whispered again, visibly nervous.

Eric shook his head. He got up and walked to his wardrobe, rummaging in his drawers and picking up clean clothes. He spoke normally. 

“No, you know I don't have any schedule today and we always make appointments anyway. He wouldn't show up like that. ”

In a couple of minutes he went into the bathroom to freshen up, and when he came back he had some sweat pants and a shirt on. He walked back to the bed, leaning in to give a quick kiss to Hyesung. 

“Go take your shower. I'll go and see who it is.”

Hyesung nodded, still visibly uneasy, and Eric smiled a little to reassure him before walking out the door, closing it behind him. 

Hyesung sighed, getting up quickly. He tried to reason himself. It was probably nothing. Even if it was a friend, they certainly wouldn't be surprised to see him sleeping over at Eric's place. 

He quickly made the bed, mentally make a note to change the sheets later, and he also picked new undergarments, having put his in the laundry basket the previous evening. He also took one of Eric's sweaters. After all, they were always sharing clothes, nothing weird. It wasn't just a lover thing. 

He blushed, disappearing in the adjoining bathroom. 

***

Eric looked through the peephole and resigning himself, he sighed heavily. He took a step back and opened the door. 

Junjin greeted him shyly. 

“Hi Eric hyung.”  
“Hi. I wasn't expecting you. What's going on?”

Junjin looked apologetic, if not a little nervous. 

“Sorry. Hope I didn't wake you up. I forgot my phone and Hyesung doesn't seem to be home,” he babbled. “I was supposed to meet him today. Is he... here, by any chance?”

Eric stared at him for a few seconds, making Junjin squirm a little, then nodded naturally. 

“Yes, he's here. Come in.”

Junjin hesitated but entered as Eric stepped aside.

“I'm not bothering you?”  
“Of course not.” Eric said, patting his shoulder before going into the kitchen, followed by Junjin. “Did you have breakfast?”  
“Yes, don't worry.”  
“What about coffee?”  
“Well, I wouldn't mind one.”

After feeding Gomdori, Eric prepared their breakfast, cooking some rice and taking out some leftovers from the fridge. The silence was relaxed but Junjin was still a little nervous. 

“I know I'm a little ahead of our schedule but I finished my workout early, so...”

Eric nodded. He poured them two cups of coffee. 

“It's OK. I think Hyesung just didn't expect you to be there so soon. We finished our video game quite late yesterday. He's taking his shower so he shouldn't be too long.”

Junjin opened his mouth as if to comment but seemed to think otherwise. He cleared his throat. 

“We're going to try out a new restaurant. One of my friends just opened it. Wanna come too?”

Eric shook his head, smiling.

“No, it's okay. You two have a good time. I have to visit one of my relatives anyway. ”

Petting Gomdori who had just finished his own breakfast, Junjin nodded. They kept talking for a few minutes. When they heard movement, signaling Hyesung was out of the bathroom, Eric got up. 

“I'm going to tell him you're here.”

Junjin nodded and Eric was gone. 

As soon as he was out of his sight, Junjin hit his head with his hand, several times. 

His plan was failing big time. He was so stupid. How did he think this plan would ever work, anyway? 

He had told Minwoo he would try to confront his hyungs on the week-end, as he regularly hanged out with Hyesung. He was certain that his friend would be spending the night at Eric's flat, as always. Junjin pouted. How couldn't he when Hyesung always wore Eric's clothes and smelled of his cigarettes' brand when they met? Did Hyesung really think he was that clueless? 

Junjin's plan had been to arrive early and catch them together in Eric's flat. Then, they would have had no choice but to spill the beans and admit their relationship. 

Junjin had even left some of his belongings hidden in Eric's bedroom last week as an alibi to come back and retrieve them. He had the code of his apartment and knew that Eric wouldn't get mad if his longtime friend entered uninvited. 

But when Junjin had arrived in front of Eric's building at 8am this morning, he had stalled, debating with himself if he really should do it. What if his hyungs got mad at him? Getting shy, he had convinced himself that he should just wait a little bit, for them to wake up. There was no need to catch them in the act, was there? 

Junjin flushed as an erotic image sneakily invaded his mind. He shook his head to chase it and turned his head as he heard an unintelligible, hushed conversation coming from Eric's bedroom. He grumbled. Of course they would try and find a believable excuse.

He sighed. How would he confront them now? Should he just be blunt? After all, he had promised Minwoo he would talk to them. He could do it. He totally could!

Embarrassed, he avoided Hyesung's eyes when he arrived in the kitchen. The singer seemed a little bit awkward too. Junjin got up from his chair to hug him. 

“Hi hyung.”  
“Hi Jinnie,” Hyesung greeted him, patting his back before taking a seat in front of him. “You're early.”  
“Sorry. Forgot my phone and you weren't home. So I thought...”

He trailed off. So he thought what? That his hyung was at his boyfriend's place? He blushed. 

Hyesung cleared his throat, reaching for the coffee and for his pack of cigarettes left on the table. He didn't take one but played with the little box. He did seem nervous. 

“It's okay. I thought you'd arrive just before noon so I slept in. We stayed up late last night, playing video games,” he explained. 

Accepting his expected explanation, Junjin nodded. For a few minutes, they talked about what they could do before going to the restaurant, then silence returned. Junjin hesitated, but he was determined this time. It had been going on for too long. He had to tell him he knew about them. When they spoke again it was simultaneously.

“Hyung...”  
“Jinnie, I have something to tell you.”

Hyesung blinked. Taken aback, Junjin stammered. 

“You first, hyung.”

Hyesung hesitated.

“I... Eric and I... We talked last night. And... we have to tell you something. To all the members.”

He looked really serious, and Junjin swallowed, the wheels in his brain turning at high speed. 

“To all of us?”  
“Yes.”  
“Yes?”

Hyesung was going to talk again but Junjin stopped him, raising his hand. 

“Wait.”

He got up and taking his phone from his pocket, already dialling, he went into the living room without saying another word. Hyesung blinked. 

“What's up with him?” he wondered out loud.  
“With who?”

He felt a hand caress his nape and shoulder. He turned his head, watching as a deliciously soft and warm, just out of the shower looking Eric sat down next to him. He pouted. They could have shared that shower if someone hadn't ruined their quiet morning. 

Turning his head, Hyesung glared at Junjin suspiciously. He sipped his coffee. Junjin was covering his mouth as he spoke, but Hyesung could swear his baby bird had just whispered a “mission accomplished” to his phone. 

Hyesung frowned. Something was very fishy.

“I thought he said he didn't have his phone with him.”

Taking his chopsticks between his fingers, Eric arched his eyebrows.

“Yep. That's what he said. Obviously a lie. Yet you prefer him as your best friend,” he said, pouting a little. 

Hyesung rolled his eyes and drank down his coffee. Junjin turned around. 

“What about a meeting tonight at the bar for your announcement, hyungs? Minwoo hyung's usual one?”

Eric engulfed some rice, speaking around the mouthful. 

“OK!”  
“Yah! Jin-ah! What's the meaning of this?” Hyesung protested loudly, but was totally ignored by Junjin who was still talking animatedly to Minwoo on the phone.  
“He's calling Minwoo to organize a meeting with all the members tonight,” Eric commented uselessly. “Isn't it what you wanted?”

Hyesung calmed down.

“I know. It's just...” 

He looked down, nervous. What would they say about both of them adopting?

Eric took his hand in his, caressing his knuckles with his thumb. Hyesung looked up. Eric was smiling. 

“Don't worry. It'll be alright. Eat.”

He picked some food with his chopsticks and held it in front of his mouth. Hyesung ate it obediently and Eric kissed his cheek, satisfied as the singer finally digged into the food in front of him. 

Still listening to Minwoo, Junjin smiled at their cuteness. The mission was a complete success. 

***

_The same day, at a local bar, 8pm._

When Junjin arrived, Minwoo, Andy and Dongwan were there and had already ordered a few bottles of soju. Junjin greeted them and sat down next to Minwoo. 

Minwoo's face was already completely flushed, the CEO having obviously started to celebrate the couple's announcement, hard. He grabbed him, his arm around his neck. 

“My man! I knew you could do it!”

Junjin chuckled, proud. 

“It was easy, in fact.”

Too easy, maybe.

“They both agreed to come?” Minwoo asked excitedly, nearly whispering.  
“Well, Hyesung did say they both had something to tell us.”  
“'Of course it's both of them. Ah! Yes! Here they come!” Minwoo nearly shouted. 

Hyesung and Eric had just come in, making their way to the isolated table of the private part of the animated bar, on the second floor. They were welcomed warmly and loudly, and as they sat, Dongwan went to the first floor to order more alcohol. 

Hyesung sat down next to Andy. He looked even more anxious than this morning, Junjin thought as he listened to the conversation between Andy and his hyung, not really paying attention as his mind wandered. 

After breakfast, Hyesung and he had left Eric's flat, going for a ride and some shopping before going at the restaurant. They had talked about many things but Hyesung hadn't mentioned anything concerning the announcement Eric and he would make tonight. 

As Hyesung and Eric drank down the first glasses their friends were pouring them, Junjin could tell how nervous they both were. 

Nothing really happened during the first hour, the six friends drinking and catching up on the past week. Hyesung kept talking to Dongwan and Andy, but he was practically glued to Eric's side. Was he, perhaps...

Something caught Junjin's attention and he nudged Minwoo, interrupting his conversation with Eric. 

“What?” Minwoo asked.  
“They're holding hands, isn't that sweet?” Junjin cooed excitedly, whispering to him. 

Minwoo looked, as discreetly as possible. Eric was now talking to Hyesung, sweetly speaking into his ear, and Hyesung's eyes were half lidded, a little dreamy. The bar was loud but not too loud in its private section, so the way Hyesung was leaning in heavily was totally unnecessary. Moreover, it did look like they were holding hands under the table. They were definitely flirting with each other. In a public place. 

Minwoo hiccuped. Aish, those two. So disgustingly cute. Despite his own amusement, he playfully pushed Junjin and scolded him. 

“Stop fanboying. That's exactly the problem here. What if someone else noticed?” He hissed, looking wildly around them. 

Junjin pouted. 

“There's no one else except us on this floor. You drank too much hyung, it's affecting your vision.”

Minwoo ignored him. He took one of the many empty bottles and picking up a chopstick, he hit it lightly with it several times to get the attention of his friends. He got up, swaying dangerously, and cleared his throat. 

“As great as it is to catch up with you guys, we're all here tonight because Eric and Hyesung have an announcement to make. So, if it's alright with you guys, I'd like to hear it now,” he encouraged them, smiling brightly, and sat down again. 

He gulped down another glass and poured them all more soju, muttering excitedly that they'd all probably need it anyway. 

Hyesung swallowed. Still holding hands, Eric and he exchanged a look, then the singer cleared his throat. All eyes were intent on him and their linked hands. Tiny smiles were on his friends' cautious faces. 

“Well. I know you're not expecting what I'm about to say but... But please, hear me out with an open mind.” He breathed in and out, and started babbling nervously. “You know that we're all past 35, and not getting any younger, right? And you know, despite all the blind dates I've been going to lately, I'm really... I mean... I'm not thinking about marriage. You see... I... Eric and I... We... How can I say it...”

He touched his ear, anxious. All the members were completely still and silent, hanging on his every word. Hyesung hesitated again, then finally blurted out. 

“Well, we're both thinking about adopting, as bachelors.”

Hyesung smiled timidly, waiting for their reaction. Eric smiled back but all the other members only blinked, losing their smiles and staring at them with an incredulous expression. 

When no reaction came, Hyesung swallowed nervously.

“Guys? Please, say something.”

Minwoo, Junjin and Andy looked at each other, realizing that they were thinking about the same thing. Or rather, that they had all been expecting another kind of anouncement. Arms crossed, Dongwan was still staring intently at Hyesung and Eric.

Dismayed, Minwoo shook his head and drank down his soju. Andy was finally the first to talk, sounding a little bit unsure. 

“That's actually... great? I wasn't expecting that. But that's great.”  
“Yeah, Andy's right,” Junjin added, more excitedly. “You'll make great dads.”

The silence that followed was terribly awkward, and the three members drank their soju. 

Hyesung was mortified by his friends' reaction, clutching at Eric's hand for support. Despite his own nervousness, the leader squeezed his hand back reassuringly. They knew it wouldn't be easy. He sighed, intervening.

“I know it must be quite a shock, but...”  
“You're mistaken” Dongwan said, cutting in. “I'm just so disappointed, to be honest.” He muttered, frowning. “I was expecting...”  
“Dongwan!” Junjin tried to stop him, suddenly panicking.

He was a little bit disappointed too, but if Hyesung and Eric still wanted to keep their relationship a secret, it was their right. There was nothing they could do about it. Especially not a few minutes after their friends just told them with obvious effort and trust that they wanted to adopt. 

“What did you say, Wannie?” Hyesung asked him, speaking over the music. “I didn't hear you.”  
“Don't listen to him hyung, he drank too much... You too Minwoo hyung. Stop drinking!” Junjin added, trying to take away their glasses, in vain.  
“Aren't we all here because of that?” Dongwan protested, whining.  
“What's 'that?'” Eric asked him, totally confused.

Minwoo ignored his intervention. 

“We are,” he agreed, drinking some more. “It's driving me crazy. And I've only known for about a week! I can't imagine what it's been like for you guys. How long has it been anyway? Junjin told me it's been two years for him. Two fucking years! Can you believe it?”  
“What?” Hyesung said, trying to follow. “I don't understand, what are you talking about?”  
“Nothing!” Junjin assured him, looking like a deer caught in headlights.  
“To answer your question, it's been one year for me.” Dongwan said.

Andy cackled madly and they all stared at him. He took a sip of his beer and smirked at them.

“Five. And all I have to say is that what I saw was... quite interesting.”

Minwoo who was drinking again coughed, spilling soju all over the table while Dongwan and Junjin whistled, impressed. Soon, Junjin, Dongwan and Minwoo were torturing the maknae with kisses and other threats to make him spill whatever secret he had in store. Andy was still cackling. 

Completely lost, Hyesung just stared, then leaned towards Eric, whispering discreetly. 

“They've gone insane, haven't they?”

Eric nodded and smiled as their friends bickered in front them. 

They were insane, without any doubt, but they were the best friends in the world. 

***

_A couple of hours later._

The cab stopped in front of their building. The rapper looked down and smiled softly as he gently shook the sleeper whose head was resting comfortably on his shoulder. His cap and hoodie were nearly covering all of his face, and he could barely see the little nose of his lover as it peeked out and wrinkled at the disturbance.

“Wake up and put on your coat. We're home.” 

Eyes still closed, Hyesung did as he said. Eric paid the driver and they got out of the car, shivering as the biting cold assaulted them. They ran into the building and took the lift, Hyesung cuddling sleepily his boyfriend in one corner as soon as the doors closed behind them. A mere couple of minutes later, they were at Eric's flat, and after a quick check on Gomdori, petting the already sleeping dog, Hyesung made a beeline to the bedroom. Eric followed him, entering the room. 

The singer threw himself on the bed and sighed, rolling until he was on his back, eyes closed. It wasn't even that late but he was exhausted, his head buzzing because of all the alcohol he had drunk. 

In front of him, leaning on the wall, Eric started to remove his clothes and watch. Finally, Hyesung opened his eyes, staring at the ceiling. 

“What exactly happened tonight?”

Eric chuckled. 

“I'm not sure either. But I think it went alright.”

Indeed, after the initial shock, all of their friends had encouraged them in their decision to adopt and they had discussed it for a long moment. 

Hyesung frowned.

“I wonder what that story was all about though. You know, the one they kept whispering about? Junjin wouldn't tell me.”

After their announcement, they had drunk some more and talked about many things, but despite pestering Junjin all night about the story Andy had finally told him about, he hadn't said a word to him. 

_“Aish, I can't tell you Andy's secret hyung!”_

Hyesung was a little jealous. Since when did those two have secrets they couldn't tell him? Even Dongwan knew about it too! Also, he was curious. The way Junjin's face had gone scarlet and Dongwan had giggled crazily, it must have been a pretty dirty story. 

“Minwoo wouldn't tell me either,” Eric shrugged. “Said he was too traumatized to talk about it.”  
“Really?” Hyesung pouted. “I don't get it. Why are they keeping secrets from us?”  
“Well, considering we're still keeping some secrets from them, I'd say that's kinda fair.”

Eric seemed amused. Hyesung didn't say anything, obviously thinking about it some more. 

Trying to distract him, Eric walked closer to him and stopped, remaining just out of reach. Then, he removed his sweatshirt and threw it on a nearby chair. Clearly interested at the prospect of kisses and cuddles after such a long night, Hyesung raised a greedy arm, trying to grab him by his tee-shirt. 

“I'm tired. Let's sleep?” He pleaded sweetly. 

Eric winked at him cheekily. 

“Shower first.” 

Hyesung suppressed a whine, helpless as Eric went into the bathroom, undressing completely and entering the shower cubicle. Hyesung rolled over, enjoying the sensual view as his lover turned on the water and started to wash himself. He watched his hands, sinfully sliding on the wet smooth skin of a perfect figure. 

He was so in love with this beautiful man. 

The singer grumbled, blushing. His sadistic boyfriend hadn't even closed the bathroom door. Hyesung swore he was torturing him on purpose to lure him in. 

It was working. 

Getting up with renewed energy, Hyesung undressed in a matter of seconds, throwing his clothes on top of Eric's. Then, tiptoeing into the bathroom, he sneaked into the shower cubicle, facing Eric under the stream of hot water. 

Wiping the wet little smirk on his lover's face with a kiss, he closed the glazed door behind him, and steam covered their last secret. 

 

_~The End~_


End file.
